Hello Mama!

posted by / Wednesday, 04 November 2015 / Published in BLOGS, Latest posts

Hello Mama!

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by Puseletso Vikwane.

Having a child of your own is an enormous responsibility. The mammoth duty of another human being’s life that is only beginning and you have to guide and nurture that being so that they may grow up to have a beautiful, prosperous life. The anxiety of being a good first time mother is nerve wrecking, but on the other hand, there is the excitement and anticipation of having a little one to raise. Motherhood can change your view of life and the way you do things. Two of the first time mothers in my circle of friends were talking about the responsibility that comes with being a mother and the sacrifices one makes for the benefit of the children. Every child is unique and every mother is different with their own way of raising their child.

Raising my son in a close knit community that consists mostly of elderly people, has been of great help to me! It has been easy to get guidance from the elders who have had years of experience raising children. As a young 21st century first time mother, I also seek guidance from the internet and other sources with some parental matters. Sithabile, a first time mother to a little boy too, has also relied on the internet and baby books to guide her on how to do or handle certain things. She quickly realised that the less pressure she put on herself about being a good mother, and the more she started taking motherhood one day at a time, the more natural motherhood became for her.

As mothers, we would love for our children to grow up to be confident, loving, and successful individuals with good morals and values. Loyiso, a mother to a 6 year old boy, had to part with her son at a very tender age and leave him in the care of her grandmother. She needed other opportunities not available in her community, for her to get a job and take care of her son financially and build a good life for him. Like many young mothers, she is lucky to have a grandmother. But too many young women take advantage of this blessing and totally leave the raising of their children to their grandmothers and mothers.

Motherhood is an amazing, mind-opening journey. Breastfeeding alone was a wonderful experience for me! Having to take care of myself and mind what I took in just so my son may flourish and be healthy was uplifting. Having to put his needs before mine was never a pain for me since I want nothing but the best for him. Seeing my strong, healthy, and happy little guy playing and baby-talking is such a joy for me. Knowing that I nourished and cared for him in order for him to be as he is, always makes me feel as though I am “super mom”. So in some ways, I feel badly for Loyiso. Loyiso had to sacrifice being there every step of the way for her son just so she may be able to create a better life for him. The sacrifice was hard but the rewards are great. Her son drives her to want to be the best person she can be so she may be able to provide for him and also, so he may be proud to have her as a mother.

I got the opportunity to be part of other children’s lives in my family way before I became a mother. I love and care about them all dearly, but now that I have a child of my own to raise, I have realised that the way I handle the other little ones in the family is different to how I handle my own son. The love I have for them all is no different; mostly it’s the way in which I reprimand them that is different. I am much stricter with my son and am more lenient with the other children. I am way over-protective with my son, more than I am with the others, even though this is mostly due to the age difference among the children. The treatment is different because my son is completely my responsibility and he is fully under my care so it is my job to guide him when needs be, whereas with other children in my life, I play a small role in their lives and feel it isn’t my place to set rules for them and be a disciplinarian with them.  Loyiso agrees with me that she too is much stricter and overprotective with her son than she is with other children in her life because she has certain ideals for her son, and feels that she needs to be a guardian for her son to guide him to be a responsible adult.  I love all children and want what is best for them all but the way I treat a child is highly dependent on their age, my relationship to them, and also on who their care giver is. I do not want to step on anyone’s toes by teaching their child to behave in a certain manner while the caregivers of that particular child are teaching their child to behave in a different manner. As a new mother, I have had to re-think how I “mother” other people’s children.

Being a mother has changed me tremendously; I have grown so much over the 2 years that I have been a parent. Ever since I became a mother, I am more put together and responsible. I am even neater and cleaner because I do not want my son getting germs from the dirt in his environment. I am more focused and know what I want. I used to be terrified of failing in anything that I took part in to the extent that I would refrain from trying out anything that I wasn’t sure I would succeed in. But now, I jump at every opportunity that comes my way, be it something completely new or something I am familiar with. I take up anything and everything that may contribute to my growth and enriching my life so I may turn out to be a good role model for my child and be able to provide him with a good life. I have a better understanding of life now that I am a mother.

 

About the Blogger…

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Puseletso Vikwane is a first time mother to a 2 year old baby boy Kaboentle, an aunt to a 2-year-6-month old baby girl, and an older sister to a teenager. She is writing about children because she is passionate about the young and their development. She is also blogging for us because she and her son are big fans of Takalani Sesame. Every time the Muppets sing and dance, Kaboentle gets very excited and stands to sing and dance along with them. Kaboentle is intrigued by the loud, colourful characters. Puseletso briefly studied psychology and has taken time off. She plans to become a qualified child psychologist with a PhD, working with mentally challenged and physically disabled children.

 

 

 

 

 

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